The Seduction of Dr. Fugazzi is a Troma film starring Faye Dunaway. (How did that happen, again? Does Lloyd Kaufman have dirt on poor Faye and blackmailed her into this film?) Mr. Carducci is talking to a shrink about being a pedophile. The shrink is Dr. Fugazzi, and she is helping Carducci get help, since he abducted two young Jewish girls last Halloween. Somehow, he appears to be out and walking around instead of in jail. Fugazzi’s assistant thinks he should be locked up. Consequently, Dr. Fugazzi is basically a dark-skinned Indian dominatrix type of shrink—you don’t run across that everyday. Then again, I haven’t gone to a psychologist, so maybe this is more common than I realize.

Fugazzi meets for lunch with a random bearded man who parades around in a top hat with a cane. He seems to be some sort of mentor to her psychology practice and gives her some advice before jetting off to see some play somewhere out of the country. During lunch, Fugazzi has a small freak-out and sees the cane bleeding. It will come up again, later in the film.

Meanwhile, in her night life, her goth boyfriend Maynard has some jealousy issues with a guy who’s hosting a terrible goth party they’ve been invited to. Things go poorly for Maynard that evening (refer back to the dominatrix comment I made earlier). The next day, Fugazzi has appointments with a kleptomaniac and a wackjob fortune teller. These patients report seeing people trying to kill them, and Fugazzi begins putting pieces together. She’s having scary dreams with people in black robes and decides to go see the man with the top hat and cane. He’s always got good advice.

Then she starts seeing patients in her house—while her boyfriend is trying on her dresses. Then she sodomizes him with a broom. Yeah, it isn’t the most linear movie. Fugazzi is starting to lose it?…or has she already lost it?…

Fugazzi and her weird boyfriend end back up at another one of the goth guy’s dinner parties. Right before he pulls out this new machine gun he bought, he proclaims the best line in the movie—“Dinner’s over. Now let’s go have an orgy!” After this point, things continue to get more bizarre, and really don’t make a whole lot of sense in the end.

There are a lot of downsides to this film. Fugazzi’s Indian accent seems to come and go as needed. There are ridiculous video game noises and stupid background music. I’m not even sure why. Then the movie just ends. Wow. Talk about abrupt AND stupid. I’m usually a Troma film fan, but this one kind of went nowhere, contained a severe lack of the usual T&A, and was pretty boring.

I’m not a fan of this movie. It may be a slightly interesting concept for a film, but it just isn’t pulled off well enough, nor acted well enough to be remotely believable. There are a lot of sniveling scenes where people are being restrained or having weird dream sequences—I just don’t get why they can’t find quality actors and actresses who are believable for these parts. Here’s an idea: don’t ask your friends to be in your movie; go find a community theater somewhere and hire them. They may overact, but at least they’ll put some effort into a poorly written script.

(1 out of 5 fus)